May has been a month of awakenings - cultural, physical, spiritual, musical and psychological. I'm usually a happy and positive person, but a series of upsetting events in the last couple of months threw me into a very morbid state of mind. I have been stimulating myself rapidly and doing things that make me feel good about myself. I did take one item off the list of 3 things to do before I die - I colored my hair red. Seriously! And it looks fabulous :)
The soundtrack of this musing is ...
- Rahat Fateh Ali Khan's album Tere Bina
- Cafe Del Mar #1
- Lounge Café
- “X&Y” by Coldplay
- Incredible India
My mind has been a veritable mish-mash of issues, events, people and stress. While trying to sort through these, I read an interesting quote by Albert Einstein. He said, “No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew.” The solution lay in raising my consciousness and investigating possibilities.
I used to live by the phrase “You don’t find happiness, you create it”. But it’s not that simple anymore. Finding mental peace has become a challenge. I attribute New York City to half of the turmoil. The other half is life. I’m not new to dealing with life, but what was missing was a realization of self-worth and my priorities. Thankfully, every experience - good or bad - leads to an increase in self-awareness. You realize what's important to you and what's not. How to deal with people and circumstances. How to manage expectations, of yourself and of others. How to strike the right balance between giving too much of yourself versus being selfish. How to make it in a man's world as a woman. Do I need to stuff a pair of socks down my pants to be recognized for my professional worth?
I felt so wronged a couple of months ago when a relationship came to a crass end. I could have chosen to turn the other way and never talk to the person anymore. But I’ve always lived by the principle of forgiveness. It’s easy to block the person out of your life but it leaves you with such a stinging bitterness that it erodes your soul. So I chose the exact opposite. I detached myself from the hurt and opened all channels of communication. I feel so free now :-) People think I’m stupid…. but I’m only preserving my heart and soul. This relationship did make me realize what was important to me in a partner. So for that, I’m thankful. As pressure builds from the home front and by my imminent 26th birthday, I’m getting nervous as I am also realizing the importance of having someone to share my joys and sorrows with. All in good time my love…all in good time.
Summer is here! And the sunshine has done me good. I spent a weekend bumming around on the beach in Southampton. Life looks beautiful when you’re well stocked with Vitamin D and especially when you’re lying in a hammock staring at the blue sky through lush green trees. Suddenly the leaves part and the sun shines through…and everything is ok :-)
It's a spectacular feeling to do a grapevine to ‘bhangra’ with 1000 other people under the brilliant sunshine in Central Park. That was how the SELF workout in the Park went. There were a ton of workout sessions of different kinds. Some friends and I attended most of them. The most funnest of all was “Masala Bhangra” by Sarina Jain. 4-5 hours of sweating it out was a really great way to get the blood rushing through my head.
You know you're different from a typical techie/banker when you read the Rolling Stone on your commute to work instead of WSJ or Economist or Wired!! The 40th anniversary issue has been a fun read so far.
That being said, it's been sad to be stuck in a musical rut. But that's another area that I revived with a bit of help from my friends. I attended a string of concerts in the last month that has left me tingling for more….
Shivkumar Sharma with Zakhir Hussain - Town Hall, May 5th 2007
This was a great concert albeit sleep inducing owing to the soothing strains of the Santoor. Zakhir pulled me out of my lulled state of mind by slapping out unimaginable beats.
Arcade Fire - Radio City Music Hall, May 9th 2007
What a concert? I've loved this band since the days of Vertigo (U2's tour in 2005). I'd never seen them live and jumped at the opportunity when Rick offered me his extra ticket. (Thanks buddy!) The ensemble was phenomenal live! They played some instruments that I'd never even seen before. Very talented and energetic band. It was also great to hang out with my old U2.com gang again. (Missing Noreen and Nivi in the crew)
Raagamala – New Victory Theater, May 13th 2007
Raagamala is a Bharatanatyam troupe from Minneapolis. Founded by Ranee Ramaswamy, the troupe offers a fresh take on the dance form by fusing it with ballet, jazz and folk. The show was great and the finale was spell-binding. Raagamala collaborated with Art Lee's Taiko ensemble - Wadaiko Tokara. The fusion of these 2 beat heavy art forms was magical.
Falu - Mercury Lounge, 31st May 2007
Falguni Shash a.k.a Falu is quite talented. I’d heard of her before but this was the first concert. I’m definitely going back for more. I had a great time at this one. Her voice is powerful and sweet. The band itself is really down to earth and friendly.
Kings of Leon - Roseland Ballroom, June 5th 2007
Ok, what just happened? I used to hate them in Vertigo days....they sounded awful. But they kicked ass in this show. I'm suddenly loving their songs and their performance. There was actually a mosh pit going on during the show....I couldn't believe it! KOL rocked. I'm seeing them again in September
Next up… A.R.Rehman on June 16th 2007. Looking forward to it :-)
And to sum things up…
I’m back. I feel complete. Hopefully, no more serious writer's blocks....
Cheers, Have a good week ahead :-)